Written by Katie Byrne, published 4th september
Talk about #couplegoals
A blogger’s heartfelt definition of what makes a ‘happy marriage’ has hit the big-time online.
In a post shared on her Facebook, Nikki Pennington declared her honest summary of what she thought made for a successful and strong marriage.
Whilst the stereotyped advice might be ‘never got to bed on an argument’ or ‘say you love each other once a day’, Nikki’s advice is a lot more real-talk - and as such, has been shared all across the globe.
Nikki has been with her partner, Jer, for 13 years, during which time they’ve been married for elevan and welcomed three children.
In the post - which has been ‘shared’ over 130,000 times and ‘liked’ more than 114,000 times - Nikki wrote: “Jer and I have been together since we were teenagers. After thirteen years of being together and eleven years of marriage I've had people ask me, "So, what's the secret to a successful marriage?"
I usually laugh... I know the typical responses from the "Don't go to bed angry" or the "Always say I love you when they leave"...
You guys, do you know how many times in eleven years Jer has taken residency on the couch prior to us having kids because we were mad? Do you know how many times he's left without us saying "I love you" because kids and life. His way of saying "I love you" some mornings is letting me sleep in when he leaves and everyone is still asleep… All the "secrets" we've broken them...
The secret to a long lasting marriage is there is no secret at all… It's a get up and try again over and over every damn day. It's hanging on tight when you are young, newly married and living on frozen dinners because it's all you can afford. It's staying up all night in tears with your first newborn child because you both are over tired, overwhelmed and scared to death but you are in it together. It's counting pennies when you are young so that you can build a life together for your future family. It's about knowing that nothing is going to turn out perfect, that your marriage won't be a highlight reel because that's not real life. It's about being deep in the trenches of so many obstacles that life could throw you and getting to look over and know that you aren't alone and that your best friend is walking it with you. It's about knowing that you can never be prepared for the burdens you might have to help your partner carry but you do know you are willing to be there when they need rest from the burden… Just try every single day, in the trenches and on top of the mountains don't ever stop. Because stopping, that's one thing that isn't a secret, it will make you fail”.
Nikki has summed it all up perfectly, don’t you think? See the post in full here.
We’d love to hear your thoughts on what makes a happy marriage: tweet them to @weddingmagazine.
Image: Facebook/Nikki Pennington